The Bish

My new PC parts should be in by tommorow morning. I decided to replace my processor, heatsink, motherboard, and RAM. Currently I’m still rocking the single core which is so 4 years ago. Right now my 2 videos card in SLI are bottlenecked by the CPU. Hopefully after this upgrade I should get a substantial FPS gain in TF2; the entire point of this upgrade.

Had: AMD64 4000+ Stock 2.4 1MB L2
New: AMD64 X2 5000+ Stock 2.6 512KB L2

The new processor I’m getting will run my other processors OC-ed speed stock. Plus it has 2 cores, but I alos lost out on my L2 cache…not too sure if/how much it will affect my shit. Also the AMD 5000+ i’m getting it the black edition with an unlocked multiplyer and it uses only 65W. If all goes as planned, I should have a stable 3.1ghz-3.2ghz clock, essentially turning my AMD 5000+ for 89 dollars into an AMD 6400+

Had: Asus A8N-SLI Premium
New: Asus M2N32-SLI Premium

My old mother board was badasss. It’s been kicking for about 3 years now and I’ve never had a problem. New mobo is basically the same with some extra perks. This new one should have 2 PCI-E slots just like my current, but instead of running both at slots at 8x, I should get the full 16x. New mobo also takes DDR2 Memory up to 800mhz. Last thing…it looks really sexy…you may ask how can a circuit board and copper be sexy? Riddle me this; how/why do people think Drew Barymore(sp?) is sexy. The scariest thing about this mobo is I purhcased an “open box” model. Normally this mobo runs near $200; buying the open box model I got it for $99…the catch being, I dont get any cables or accessories and it was/is a returned item. This should be fine; I should have all the extra cables and accessories available from previous builds.

Had: 4×512 DDR400 OCZ Ram
New: 2×1gb DDR800 OCZ Ram

It’s faster…yup, thats about it.

Had: Zalman 8500 Heatsink/Fan
New: Zalman 9500 Heatsink/Fan

Currentlly my heatsink/fan is alright. It idles my PC at 27C-28C and I top out @ 40C after several hours of gameplay. New fan looks better, silver as opposed to copper, and it also directs all the hot air straight towards my rear 80mm fan…unlike my current, which just blows shit around my case.

That is all.

We all have names right? My name is Mathew, his name is Greg, and that guys name is Asshole. Obviously most of us did not name ourselves; the decisions were left to our non-English speaking mothers who fucked up our names. But it’s ok. Though…if you could choose your own name what would it be?

I could think of countless names that are cooler than “Mathew” i.e. “African Thunder”, “Norweigan Whirlpool”, or “Hot Pocket.” These 3 names are at least 100 times cooler than Mathew. But I can’t just CHANGE my name, I am Mathew; Mathew is I. Plus I’d like to be accepted within society, as names like “Chair” or “Microwave” (which I 100% approve of and endorse) are not acceptable in 2008 America.

When do we get to choose names? And how often are these names really fucking stupid?

Welcome to the world of online gaming. Choose your name, create your identity, be a different person.

I felt like going through all the names I’ve used and explaining the crap-factor of all of them so you will not make the same mistakes I did. Prepare yourself.

The first name I used in my first “real” game I’ve ever played(EQ) was Jollar Kantrell. The name was somewhat derived from a magic card. Now most of you are like…well…what’s wrong with that Bishop? Well the question is the problem…the name didn’t make you laugh, it didn’t make you say, “how witty Bishop”, and it didn’t make you say “that’s really fucking stupid, please quit life.” It’s a normal un-unique name. I am random guy #9876 with a random unmeaningful name. I was in 5th grade, so I get to cut myself some slack for being a god damn retard.

Lesson One: Don’t choose a generic random name that isn’t funny, witty, or shitty. If the name you choose is blatantly normal…don’t fucking use it. All you’ve done was take IRL naming mechanics and put them into a game…a game should be as far away from IRL as possible.

After Jollar Kantrell I used the alias Demias Dreadsong…the shitty-ness of my name in Everquest actually de-evolved to something even worse, a “real world multi-worded name.” The Demias part…not too shabby, I did use the “Generate Name” button to get it, but once again, the 1st half of my name falls into lesson one’s “do not do” list, while the second half awards me retard of the server.

Lesson Two: Do not use 2 words to form 1 new word. Obviously dreadsong is not a word. But song is a word and dread is also a word. The only thing these 2 words form when next to each other is a shitty name. Other names that fall in this category to help you out would be, “Destroyerman”, “Faithcaster”, “MassiveFire”, etc etc. These types of names are just really really bad. No matter what you pick, all you’ve done was select 2 very normal English words and fused them together to create one fantastic piece of shit.

Those were the only two names I used in the world of Everquest. I eventually quit EQ due to its irrational circular logic within the game mechanics. I now moved onto the world of First Person Shooters (FPS). Naming yourself here was a little different. I wasn’t a warrior; I wasn’t a bard, or some kind of black sorcerer of death. I was a crosshair. That was it, my goal…shoot faces. I really wanted a good name to go by. I wanted something scary…something ghoulish, something EXTREME. So I looked at a table and saw a fly(the insect kind) and then I put the word super in front of it, and THEN I decided I would capitalize every other letter so my name would be “different.” SuPeRfLy…little did I know that a pro wrestler who goes by the name of Superfly already existed.

Lesson Three: Do NOT capitalize every other letter of your name. It looks shitty and it’s NOT different because every 12 year old who plays an online FPS does it or did it. Lesson three also involves using non-letter characters as characters i.e. 1337 5p34k. I must inform you, being 1337 is not cool, if anything, it means you’re a pre-pubescent teenager who has yet to get laid. Here are some examples. “H3|| |24i53r” and “|)4|Vg3|2 8()8″…Ok 2 is enough as it takes too long to type these out. Can you decipher them? They both say, “I’m a big fucking idiot”

Eventually I settled on the name “Flashlight Bandit”, which I totally stole from a 12 year old kid named Ronnie. He used it one time and I thought it was hilarious. In counter-strike your flashlight is visible through walls, so everyone knew where you were at and where you were going. “Flashlight Bandit” was somewhat funny and ironic.

Lesson Four: Don’t steal names from 12 year old children, as your friends will find out and ridicule you until the end of times…plus stealing just isn’t cool. *cough*www.essaybank.co.uk*cough*

I eventually dropped off the word bandit and just used flashlight. I sorta stopped caring about my name(s) and was satisfied with the name “Flashlight”. Though the name flashlight actually opened up a whole new world of naming I call “random everyday shit.”

The way “random everyday shit” work is just like how you’d expect it to work. Look at shit nearest to you randomly and then use it as your name. Look to your right, you see a lamp? Now try the word Lamp. Didn’t take it? Look some more…Shoe? Shoe works. Your name is now Shoe.

The reason behind this idea is A) its random, and random is funny B) dictionary words are usually restricted/banned in games(MMOs), so getting a dictionary word as your name is sorta of a sense of accomplishment in regards to knowing game developers never got to the end of the dictionary and or skipped several hundred pages.

A plethora of fucking weird names totally unrelated to the games genre or gameplay were soon born. The way I see it, no one wants to be named Lamp or Shoe, and also whatever MMO you are playing SHOULD have this banned/blacklisted. So now every time I play a game I have a few core names of random everyday shit, and so do my friends. After 10 years of gaming nearly 8hrs everyday…these are mine and my friend’s master pieces.

Names I’ve used

Mathew (because i only have 1 t in my name, this name is unusually open for grabs, even if a server has been out for 1+ year), Flashlight, Keyboard, Slavery, Because, Below, About, Science, Scientist, Aphrican American, Powers, there’s more…but you get the idea. Obviously I wouldn’t use the name Scientist or Science if the game was Sci-Fi related, as that would be expected…I would use the name Scientist if I was a medieval ranger who shoots arrows…why? Because it makes no fucking sense. Now I WOULD used Aphrican American as my characters name if I was playing DAOC as a Kobold, because they are blue…like black people…and racism is funny.

Now Which of these 2 name will leave an impressionable memory after you were killed by them…”Jollar” or “ToasterOven”…I know for a fact I will tell all my friends the very next day that some badass named “ToasterOven” killed me and then ridicule Jollar for naming himself after a magic card.

Names my friends have used:

Indian(s), Horse, Gir, Childs, Soup, Trumpet, Trombone, Cello, Hamburglar(s), Shoe, Clock, Sheep, Rabbit, Bear, and Human. What’s really fucking funny is that my friend and little brother were using the names “Indian” and “Hamburglar”, they both got reported by other players for having names that were too “non game related”…so…they added an S at the end of their name and they were both good to go as the GM recgonized Indian and Hamburgar as no longer bring on the server, little did they know Indians and Hamburglars were running around in the masses.

Final Lession: Don’t try to pick a name that is cool, because no matter what you choose it won’t be “cool”. Don’t be cliché with your name i.e. if you play a caster and you choose the name “Hex or Vex” you’re just an uncreative asshole. If you can’t get a name because it’s already take don’t add numbers to it. When I see the name Fireryblaze768 all I think about it how there are possibly 767 other Fireyblazes. Don’t use famous names from movies or games…well because…it’s not your fucking name, i.e. Neo, Morpheus, Legolas…don’t fucking use them…and don’t add 10 s(s) to the name Legolas to make Legolassssssssss.

Be original, be creative, be you…don’t try and be cool or awesome…just choose a name.

Currently I use my normal human name…mostly due to the fact that no one else uses their real names online and also normal human names like Pat, Bob, and Matt are usually banned from most MMO’s day 1 of the servers coming online…like…Mathew…my level 70 Dwarf Priest on Boulderfist is probably the only char on the entire server with a normal human name…plus it’s easy to type.

First person shooters I am “gcf.mathew”. In WoW I play as “Mathew”, “Keyboard”, and “Hair”.

Name well.

I found out I DONT have to get a 250 dollar key for my car. Instead I got 2 normal keys for 120 bucks but I still have to pay 80 for the CPU re-programming.

My vehicle should be back in my posession by Friday, that is, if God loves me. If he hates me I’ll get it back Monday.

I’ve seen lot of articles about children or people who die due to their faith in faith healing and disagreement with modern medicine. Though the parents or the church(es) never get prosecuted. I’m obviously sorry for the child who died, but I am also happy that the injustice of faith healing is actually being confronted for once.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/apr/01/usa.religion

Faith healing church parents charged over toddler’s death

Two followers of a fundamentalist Christian church that favours faith healing over conventional medicine are to be prosecuted for manslaughter after their daughter died of a treatable infection.

Carl and Raylene Worthington were indicted by a grand jury in Oregon’s Clackamas county following the death of their 15-month-old daughter Ava in March.

The toddler died of bronchial pneumonia and a blood infection, according to the state medical examiner’s office - both conditions that could have been treated with antibiotics.

The parents, who surrendered to police on Friday, are members of the Followers of Christ, a fundamentalist church in Oregon with about 1,500 members. They were released on $250,000 (£126,000) bail.

The church was at the centre of controversy in the 1990s after the deaths of several children attracted the attention of the authorities. It led to the passage of legislation in Oregon that repealed the right to a religious beliefs defence in cases of manslaughter, homicide and child abuse.

Since the passage of the law in 1999, according to authorities in Oregon, there have been no incidents of child neglect involving the church. The Worthingtons are the first members of the church to face criminal charges for failing to seek medical attention for a gravely ill child. If convicted they could serve six years in prison for manslaughter and up to a year for criminal mistreatment.

The couple’s son died in August 2001. A police investigation into the death was closed after family members said the child had been stillborn and was three months premature.

Despite the passage of the law and the tight-knit nature of the congregation, there are some indications of high infant mortality among the group. The church has a private cemetery south of Oregon City. There, markers indicate that more than half a dozen children have died of unspecified causes since the passage of the legislation nine years ago.

The Followers of Christ has its origins in the Pentecostal movement of the late 19th century.

Dave, Denise, and me were leaving for work this morning, car pool niggas!, and I forgot my cellphone. We stopped by my place and I jumped out of the car and started jogging towards my door. My back felt weird. Went down stairs grabbed my phone and went back to the car. My back hurts. In the car driving to work my back really fucking hurts. I cant take deep breaths I cant bend forward or backwards. And I cant look left or right with just my head.

Please fix my back.

At least I sit in a chair all day,

There’s a plethora of spiders in our basement/my dungeon. I see 3-4 new spiders every week. I would name them all, but I do not name evil nor the devil. These spiders appear in many different shapes and locations. Some spiders are small, some spiders are really fucking big and I break down in tears. Seriously…spiders are really scary. Look at it this way. Is a huge black gangster holding a gun and a baseball bat scary? Yes…yes he is. But how many legs does he have? Two you say? Well a spider has 8…now picture the very same gangster with 8 fucking legs. Conclusion: The more legs; the more scary.

I’ve done a lot of spider hunting since our move in, and frankly, i’m tired of it. So instead of ignoring the spiders and getting “rid” of them as they magically appear, I decided to find the hell portal in which they protrude from. There was no hole, but there was hell. It was a hell crack. And there isn’t just one crack, there are many. I found the first portal of evil accompanied with a spider. I gently stabbed the spider in the face with a knife and it instantly hissed at me and then descended into the depths of Spidertopia. This is most likely their base of operations. Now I could have easily donned my “Plate Armor of the Gargantuan Beast”, self cast “Shrink Rank 8″, gone into the crack and battled the battle of all battles with Undead Spiders until the end of time while eventually reaching level 1 million IRL…but I’m a nice guy, so instead I taped up that and several other cracks. No magic will be needed here. I still have a lot of crack filling to do (insert gay joke here) before I can have a peaceful nights sleep.

Enough with the scary spiders…

I took Thursday off last week to go to court. I missed the original court date due the fact that I can’t not remember not well…that quadruple negative took me a bit to write…I don’t even know if it works. So court was actually alright. I wouldn’t mind going again…as long as I don’t pay fines. Tejon’s court experience was drastically different then Kiowa’s. At Kiowa you actually had to sit/stand in a courtroom for 2 hrs and have to watch/listen to everyone’s pleas and sentences. It’s fucking boring. With the above experience I was dreading the Tejon court date. Indeed I dreaded unnecessarily. First thing I noticed that was better @ Tejon was the lack of an actual courtroom. It’s just a huge fkn room with chairs. I’m down with that. Second, the walls were lined with TV’s. Third, the TVs were all playing movies. Fourth the “rights” movie you are FORCED to watch at Kiowa was optional here (optional in the fact that you could just say you saw it already aka lie). I’d say the only drawback to the entire experience was the movie choice. Mission Impossible II. I was reminded of how shitty of a movie it was, and that motorcycles can jump off of flat surfaces if your name is Tom fucking Cruise.

Last thing on the list. I suck. Flat out. I suck. Preferably balls. Black balls. Licorice flavor.

I lost my fucking keys to my fucking car. I searched high and low and found nothing…so then I just got high. I honestly have no clue where they are at. I lose shit all the time and usually shit always shows up. ALWAYS. Like I lose shit all the time but I never LOSE LOSE shit. Alright I just lied right there, I’m sure I’ve lost a lot of things. Those don’t count though…because I said so.

I called up a VW dealership to see what kind of deal I could work out to get new keys. It took me five minutes to realize I hate senseless innovation and the future. Yeah computers are cool and so is space and shit…but laser cut keys and CPU programmable cars are fucking retarded. I called them up and I was informed I would A) Need to get my car towed to their dealership B) Get my car’s CPU reprogrammed and C) Shell out 250ish bones for a new laser cut key. I’m pretty sure you don’t need a FUCKING LASER TO CUT A FUCKING KEY. O well. So I’m calling them today to get my car towed and shit. I should have keys and a mobile vehicle by Thursday hopefully. In the mean time I’ll listen to the numbers rising higher and higher on my credit card. Fuck the future….and fuck spiders…especially spiders from the future.

6:00PM Tuesday Night. Bishop was cooking a steak.

I got a call from Henry informing me that Lydia would be taking us out around 7:00PM-ish for a Melting Pot extravaganza. I’ve never had fondue before, nor did I know what the hell fondue was. I promptly told Henry I was down like syndrome. I packed up the steak and tossed it in the fridge. I would later use the steak to break my fast the next morning.

Long story short we ate fondue and it was good. Zack, Lydia, Henry, Colleen, and The Bish. 5 humans. Normally you would expect 5 humans to order 5 portions for their individual selves. This was not the case. Little did we know that a meal for 2 could feed us 5. 3 courses involving cheese, oil/fat, and chocolate was plenty fulfilling.

I burnt my face with the fucking skewer though. I now look like the Joker. Lydia burnt her fingers; so bank robbing should be one of her future endeavors.

The entire night was pretty chill, except for when Henry and I got called out on our “fake IDs”. I mean I look 12 but COME ON! After ID inspection they thought my WA ID was supspicously “thin”. They came back asking Henry and me for 2 more forms of ID and a fucking credit card. I handed her my current driver’s license and also 2 older ones. That wasn’t good enough for Mrs. I wear a crazy fucking dress. I surrendered my entire wallet. Henry actually started taking out his car registration and other random shit. It was great.

Once more and once again, I leave you with some Penny-Arcade smiles.

Alcohol can be really cool; though I’m very stupid.

Somehow I continually convince myself that drinking on an empty stomach is a marvelous plan to save money and intoxicate myself. Last nights show was pretty neat. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of “The Valley Arena” other than the good things Geoff has to say about them…ya’ know what? I likes them. I purchased an audio disk and upper torso wear. I did drink far too much. 1 Newcastle and 1 shot already had me feeling good. I couldn’t help it; I just rode the gravy train the rest of the night and was entirely too drunk before The Photo Atlas even played.

I ended up trying to go to bed around 11:30PM-ish. Not a good idea. I usually don’t get the spins when I try to sleep drunk. And I didn’t get the spins! But I had the swirls and the twirls instead. It sucked; every few momemnts it’d feel like I had to vommit. Everytime I made it to a toilet I didn’t have to anymore. I said fuck it. I Shoved my arm into my throat and let it roll. Basically I feel great this morning. I’m glad I threw up before I went to bed as opposed to right after waking up.

Lesson of the night/every other night? Eat some fucking food before you drink Bishop. Though it really doesn’t help that I haven’t bought groceries in over 3 months.

Hopefully I can leave work early. I feel ok. Just not feelin’ the work.

Penny-Arcade for you!

EDIT*** i’m totally getting off at 2:30 today.

Last night my internet was being retarded so WoW and TF2 were out of the question. I ended up cleaning my PC some. Got rid of a lot of extra shit and compiled mine and Lauren’s music together freeing up about 25 gigs. Somehow I started thinking about Ubuntu and how I should use it; it’s free so why not? I downloaded Gutsy Gibon and burned the ISO to a CD. I Ran the live version of Ubuntu for about an hour, getting a feel for it…and meh…I don’t like it? I think I’d rather just use a Litestep shell for Windows. Viruses and spyware would be a good reason to swtich to a linux based OS…but I don’t get viruses nor spyware, so fuck it.

Plus I did some research on XP gaming vs Ubuntu + WINE gaming and it’s pretty lopsided, in favor of XP+SP2.

Click the pics to expand.